Like O, Like H
by sevenateninetoo
Summary: Sara has a dark secret but she can't share it with her slutty sister. Tegan and Sara. Quincest.


LIKE O, LIKE H

Literally too lazy to divide the whole file into chapter files...

CHAPTER 1

_Tegan Rain Quin is the most popular girl in my high school. She has the whole package: beautiful brown eyes, D-cup tits, soft hair that stops at her shoulders, perfect figure and the sweetest personality. She is also a whore. And my twin sister. My own sister is a whore. At least that's what they all say. I never bothered to ask her why are those rumours going around or why isn't she reacting to any of these. I don't want to know the truth. I don't want to be disappointed in my only sister, my only real friend. Tegan and I spend a lot of time together playing music or just hanging out. At the age of 17, our choices for activities are limited. I wish we could go somewhere, just us two. Boys lust for her, girls envy her. I can name at least 14 people from our school that are in love with her. Including…well…me. I haven't told anyone I like girls, I have known for a year now. _

_I hadn't realized why I wanted to become closer to Tegan, until she came home from a date wearing that tight dress with heels. She always looks perfect. Too bad she likes dick. Oh, and did I already mention we're related? And that our mother is very religious? When did my life get so complicated!"_

„Sara!?" I heard Tegan calling me from downstairs and I quickly hid my journal between my bed frame and mattress. „What?" I asked as I reached the kitchen. She sat on the dining table, dressed in a very short and tight black skirt with fishnets. I couldn't see what kind of shirt she was wearing because of her black leather jacket but I assumed it showed off her breasts, like always. „I'm going out tonight and I need you to tell mum when she gets home from work that I'm at Julie's studying." I wasn't surprised. She always used me like that. „Sure," I said and turned to pour myself a glass of water „Where are you actually going?". She played with her labret piercing nervously. „Ah, you know…I'm going to meet up with Jack. We're seeing a movie or something." „Seeing _a movie_, eh?" I had grown tired of this. „Yeah?" She was confused. Never had I asked her about her nights before. „Is the movie called „Giving some random dude a blowjob behind the movie theatre?"" She gasped. „What? No! I wouldn't!" she defended herself. „Don't even fucking bother," I said angrily „I know all about your adventures with boys. This is gross, Tegan! Have you ever thought about your future? You have the reputation of a cheap whore!" Her eyes started to well up and I immediately regretted saying that. „I-I have to go." She hopped off the table. „Tegan, wait, I didn't mean it like that!" She was already out the door.

* * *

CHAPTER 2

A very short, but also very beautiful brunette walked into the store and picked up one of the bright red shopping baskets. She was upset and had nothing else she wanted to do. A few teenagers stared at her. She was reminded why she hated going to public places alone. She felt so small. The reputation…Tegan had no idea her life would be like this. Sure she had made some bad decisions but she decided her purpose was worth it. So she put on her best poker face and continued walking towards the alcohol aisle. As she was looking for the cheapest red wine, her brick-looking phone started ringing. „Yeah?" she answered without checking the caller ID. „Tee, baby, where are you?" Jack sounded more annoyed than worried „We were supposed to meet 20 minutes ago!" Tegan sighed, even more annoyed than Jack was. „I know and guess what, I don't care anymore. You only wanted me there for some _downstairs_ action." She picked up one of the cheap bottles, cranberry flavoured. „Oh, you even have the guts to be bigheaded, huh? Am I not good enough for you, bitch? You can fuck with every other guy, but not me? Me who takes you on dates?" Jack was furious now, but Tegan remained calm. She had nothing left to lose, she didn't have to defend herself. There was no point. Nothing could be fixed anymore. „Look, I don't have time for this, k? Bye." She hung up and purchased the wine with her fake ID.

Tegan walked downtown to her favorite place in Calgary - the local park, not far from her house. It was a beautiful, peaceful evening. The sun was setting through the trees and even though the nature was dying and preparing for October, Tegan hoped for something new. A change in her life. She could tell Sara and her mother the truth and all would be okay, right? No. Everything would be even worse. She always carried her burden around with her. Her only plan had gone terribly wrong. She recalled a big fight with her mother from two years ago. That night had changed everything. Tegan sat down on the bench that she and Sara had claimed as „theirs" when they were 10. It was in the middle of the park, hidden by giant trees and flowers. Thinking about days when everything was alright, she opened and drowned the wine. Of course Sara would find out about the rumours. Of course she couldn't avoid talking to Tegan about these things forever. And now the most important person in her life thinks she is a disgusting whore. Tears streamed down her face as it got darker and colder.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

„_I can't believe I let that slip out. It doesn't matter what she does with men, it's her own decision and I should support her instead of judging her. I used to dream that her and I would end up being together, being eachother's firsts and lasts, like it should be. I had dreamed of a perfect, everlasting love. Unfortunately, she proved me there is no perfection in this world. She looked perfect, her mind was perfect but now she is ruined, impure. I can't stop myself from imagining the things she has done with boys. It's gross…but also hot because well, it's her. Tegan. My Tegan. It's pretty late now, I hope she will come back home soon. I feel so quilty and I think I should apologize. No matter what she did with Jack tonight, I have to apologize. She already has too much pressure on her.„_

After writing in my diary, I slowly start to drift off to sleep. But I'm suddenly pulled out of my dreams by a loud knock on my bedroom door. I stumble out of the bed, tripping over my guitar case. As I open the door, I see Tegan's messy face in the dark. Her heavy makeup is diffused and she looks like she has been crying. She also smells like alcohol. „Sasa…" she mutters as I try not to get upset. I sit her down on my bed and close the door quietly. „Tegan, where the hell have you been!?" I ask her. „I was out, with… you know, Jack." She whispers, looking down at her feet. I sigh. „It's 2 am, for fuck's sake! You went out 5 pm! Where were you?" Tegan started sobbing. „Sara, what do you think of me? What do you really think?" she asks. _I think you're amazing and I love you. _„ Honestly, Tee, I think you're a mess. I'm sorry for what I said earlier, but you really are messed up." I find myself getting angry again, I just can't lower my pride. I can't admit being in love with her and it upsets me so much I start blaming her for being the messed up one. Selfish. Tears soak her face and I can't tear my eyes away from her beautiful plump lips. I start thinking about feeling those soft, pink lips against mine, but then I remember what she has done with that mouth. I grow angrier. „I'm sorry, Sasa, I really am. I'm sorry I used you and I'm sorry you have to lie to mum all the time. I'm really sorry about everything." She gets up and leaves my room. I don't know what to say or do. Should I comfort her? She says she is sorry but she has been drinking and she was gone for so long. Lord knows what she did with Jack! She doesn't want me. She doesn't need me. She needs douchebags who just use her for sex. I can't hate her but I'm so upset. How can she not see that I'm the best for her? I could fix her.

* * *

CHAPTER 3

Tegan's P.O.V.

„_You really are messed up." _Sara's words echoed in my head. I collapsed on my big, messy bed and started crying freely, just like I had done in our park earlier. I should have told her that I didn't do anything with Jack but I doubt she would have believed me. I am a whore now, of course, how could I forget?! I didn't know what to do anymore, I felt so lost, so deeply sad. I knew a few ways to win back Sara's love and support but then I would have to deal with mum again. I loved and wanted to get along well with both of them. What was I supposed to do?

I liked weekends. _Loved_ them. No school, no other teens. Just Sara and I watching silly cartoons and making pancakes. I also liked that Sonia was at work during that time so we had the whole house to ourselves for couple of hours. Maybe not that weekend… Sara had avoided me all Friday morning and even in school we didn't talk. So I decided it was about time to catch up with my old „friends". At least Julie still seemed to like me. I walked up to her before Chemistry, hoping to make a small talk that would take my mind off Sara. All went well until she asked me about the night before. „Jack is pretty handsome, eh?" she asked, smiling. I couldn't really agree, he was an average guy with hidden shitty personality. „Not really…why?" She chuckled. „I heard you guys had a rather fine night. The whole school heard, actually." She turned serious. „Tee, are you sure about all this?" I couldn't believe it, I felt panic, shame and anger all at once. It was just too much. „We, we didn't even meet last night!" I explained her what had really happened with Jack and she looked worried. „That's pretty fucked up. He is going around school, bragging about fucking you hard for hours!" I felt sick to my stomach, this had to stop. „Tegan? Tee, are you alright?" Julie's voice sounded further away, her face hidden by thick fog. I sat down on the cold floor, hugging my knees to my heavy chest. „Breathe," Julie tried to calm me „Take deep breaths, everything will be okay." After couple of minutes, my breathing and vision had turned back to normal. „Tee, go home. I'll try to tell people that never happened, okay?" I felt sorry for not really talking to Julie for so long, she was such a good friend. „Where's Sara? Can she drive you home?" I shrugged, exhausted from recent emotions and crying all night long. „Okay, it's okay, just wait here, I'll go find her." Right after she had left to go find Sara, I heard a familiar voice approaching. There he was, in all his douchey glory. And punch of his dumb friends following him around like puppies. They all laughed when they noticed me sitting there, weak. „How about a handjob, Tegan?" one of them mocked me, causing disgusting laugther. That was the last straw. I jumped up and practicaly flew towards Jack, landing on top of him on the ground. I started throwing punches everywhere on his „hot" body, yelling out things like: „Nothing happened last night!", „You're a fucking liar!" and „I would never sleep with you!". His friends just stood there, staring until I was pulled back by small hands. "Tegan, that's enough," Sara whispered in my ear, holding me from behind „Calm down." I looked down at Jack and gasped loudly. I had caused more damage than I thought I would. My sharp rings had left deep wounds on his face. I had hit him to his chest with my knees, so I guess his ribs were broken. I didn't regret it, not one bit.

But one thing I did regret was getting caught by the headmaster and having to sit at his office for the next 15 minutes. I got suspended for the day and the whole next week. As I left the building with a very worried Sara, I chuckled quietly. „That was rough." Sara sighed. „It's not detention, it's vacation." I simply said. „That's not what I was talking about," Sara said, starting the car. „You put him in the hospital! What even led to this? I just heard from Alex what fun night you two had, did he cheat on you or something?" I stared out of the window, trying to avoid Sara's intense glance. „Are you fucking kidding me?! We didn't do anything last night! I didn't even show up and he got so upset he started spreading rumours about me!" Sara stopped front of our house „Oh. I'm sorry, I just assumed…" I cut her off "Assumed what? That I'm a dirty slut? Yeah, okay, well maybe I am because I'm not perfect like you!" I raised my voice. „You have no idea what is really going on! You don't know what I have done for you and mum!" I climbed out of her rusty, cheap car and slammed the passenger door shut. Sara caught up with me at the front door. „What have you done?" she asked quietly. I stared in her dark brown eyes for the first time that day, sensing her sadness and worry. „It's better if you don't know, I'm sorry. Just go back to school, okay?" She entered the house after me and locked the door. „Hell no, we need to talk, Tegan."

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

I watched my sister sit awkwardly on the couch while I made us tea. She seemed nervous. Well, of course, she had just beaten up Jack and now I wanted to talk to her. I was glad she did it. I was also glad that nothing ever happened between them. Tegan had _finally_ reacted. „Here." I handed her one of the mugs and sat down. „Thanks." She muttered and reached for the tea, our fingers slightly brushing. I blushed and quickly looked away. Even though her hands were bruised from the fight, they were also very soft. My mind wandered and I imagined Tegan's pale body. I bet the skin over her curvy hips is also soft and perfect. „So uh, what do you want to talk about?" I was brought back to reality. „I'm glad you're willing to even talk to me after what I said. Well, I wanted to ask you about all the things that have been going on lately. Like, why do you change your boyfriends so often? Do they hurt you? Are you even healthy? You don't tell me anything anymore and I'm worried, Tee. What if you catch a disease from all that fucking aro-, I mean, uh, sex? Then what? I just want you to be careful." I said really fast, anything to get it all off my chest. She looked emotionless first but when I got to the sex part, she chuckled softly. „What?" I asked, surprised by her reaction. „Disease…ha. One day I will explain everything to you. And that day is not today," I exhaled in annoyed manner „One day, I promise. But thank you for being supporting. Don't worry about me, Sar. I'll be fine." She turned to me and smiled sadly. What could she possibly hide from me? Is it really that bad? I wanted to ask her million other questions but she was having a hard day, so I gave up. „Alright…" I looked around the living room. „Wanna watch some stupid movie and pretend everything's okay?" I asked. She laughed and hugged me. „Sure." Tegan sighed to my neck, wrapping her arms around me tighter.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

Thank heavens Sara stopped asking questions. I wanted a quick getaway and she read my mind. We watched some ridiculous movie, wrapped in warm blankets. The credits started rolling and I flexed, yawning. Sara messed around with her blanket and looked over the couch and coffee table. „Where's the remote?" She asked and peeked into the hole between the armrest and the seat. „Aha! Here!" She reached for it and her hand got stuck. „Dammit!" I laughed and hovered over her lap with my upper body to get to the other side of the couch, still sitting on my legs. „Let me help you." I reached to the hole with my own hand. I tried to pull her hand, still holding onto the remote, out. My movements were so quick and sudden that my chest bounced on hers. I froze, our faces were so close. I threw caution out of the window and pressed my lips to Sara's.

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Sara's P.O.V.

When Tegan kissed me, everything stopped. My heart, the time, my thoughts. I couldn't function. Her lips were so soft and sent shivers down my spine. After couple of seconds she pulled away, shocked. „Oh my God," she muttered, getting up from the couch. „I'm so sorry, Sara. I don't know why I did that." She quickly walked upstairs, leaving me there to sit with an expressionless face. „…What?" I asked myself. I was confused but also very satisfied. Tegan had kissed me first._ Tegan_, not me. I touched my lips slightly with my fingertips. Amazing.  
I wasn't going to overthink this, she wouldn't like me that way…I guess she just needed someone who would look kinda like a man and would treat her right. I turned off the TV and decided to give Tegan some time to be alone.  
She was probably more confused by her actions than I was. Before I went upstairs to my bedroom, I grabbed three beers from the fridge. It was a stupid move but I wanted to be free of worry.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

I heard Sara enter her room and put on a Smashing Pumpkins record. Good. I had no desire for a conversation. Why, Tegan? Why? You were doing so good. Now you have to go back to doing what you always do…I dialed Bobby's number. He was one of my ex-boyfriends. I wasn't really good with keeping them. I got bored and, well, they all had certain _needs_. But I had demands and dreams I couldn't share with them, so I just left them. „Hello?" he picked up. „Hey, what are you up to?" I asked, faking a happy voice.  
„Uh, nothing. Why? You wanna get together?" I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder and grabbed my clothes from the dresser. „Yeah, let's say, in 30 minutes?" He agreed. „Okay, well, I'm home alone tonight so you can come over." Perfect. „'Kay, see ya." I hung up and stepped into the shower.  
After I was done, I dressed into the sluttiest clothes I had. Fishnets, black miniskirt, high heels, a tight shirt and a leather jacket. I finished up with dark eyeshadow and mascara, adding red lipstick on the lips I had pressed to my sister's just an hour ago. I sneaked out of the house, not telling Sara I was leaving.

„So why did you call me?" Bobby asks me after we had smalltalked on his couch for a while. I shrug. „I don't know. I guess I just missed you." He flashes me a smile. „I missed you, too, Teegs." His eyes travel up and down my body. „You're gorgeous, you know that?" I blush."Thanks?" He gets closer to me. „I think we should pick up from where we left off last time." _Fuck._  
I swallow loudy and feel my throat closing tightly. I feel like having a panic attack. _Okay, okay, calm down. You have to do this. That's what you came here for. You want this. Do you? Maybe you're normal. Forget about everything else. _My thoughts are racing and Bobbyleans closer. „Hmm? What do you say? Let's do this?" he whispers in my ear in a way _he_ thinks is sexy. _Fuckfuckfuck. _„Ok-k-ay…" I stutter out.  
He grins and takes off my jacket. I place it on the couch and he stands up. „You know what to do." He says simply. I nod and raise my shaking hands to his zipper. He helps me pull his pants and boxers down and his manhood stands erect.  
_Why, Tegan…why do you do this to yourself? _„Well," he stares at me, confused. „Do it." I stare at his exposed flesh and want to throw up. I chose this way, I have to act this way. _This is for you, Sara._ I start licking the head of his member and take him fully to my mouth. _Gross. _After a few minutes of sucking and trying not to throw up, he finishes off in my mouth and I swallow it. _I hate myself. _

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

„_Tegan kissed me after reaching for the remote. It was innocent and short but fuck, it was so good. Now she's alone in her room and I'm alone in mine and I don't know what to do besides getting drunk. Maybe I'll come up with a solution.  
Maybe I'll talk to Tegan. Mum is at some meeting 'til Sunday night. Maybe I should tell Tegan how I feel? Would she understand? Hahahaha, yeah right."_

I hear a loud bang coming from downstairs and I rush out of my bedroom. Tegan runs past me to the bathroom and slams the door shut. I notice she is dressed up. She went out? I can hear her vomiting and I try to open the door. It's locked. „Tegan, what's going on?!" I yell. „Open the door!" She finishes throwing up, flushes the toilet and opens the door. „What happened?" I ask her.  
She sighs and turns to the sink to brush her teeth. She holds up a finger, letting me know I should wait for her to answer 'til she's done. She rinses her mouth with mouthwash afterwards and walks out of the bathroom. I follow her to her bedroom. „Well?" I ask.  
We sit down on her bed. „Bobby happened." She says. „What is that supposed to mean?" She gets up and turns on her fairy lights instead of the ceiling lamps. I guess it's easier for her to admit things in the dark? „I did something stupid. I wanted to forget about…"  
She pauses and I think back to our kiss. „…Things. So I went over to his place and he asked me to…" A single tear slid down her cheek. „…To what?" I ask, fearing the worst. „To give him a blowjob. So I did it. But I didn't want to. I swear to God, Sara, I didn't want to."  
I can't believe this. She's back to her old self again? She may have scared me sober earlier, but I still have my liquid courage. I stand up and step closer to her. „Then why _did_ you do it?" I ask angrily. „Do you do it on purpose, do you like to fuck up your life?"  
She looks down. „I'm so sorry…" Tegan sobs but I'm having none of it. „You have gone over the line this time," My words are full of hate. „Do you think you can just kiss me and then go suck some guy's dick?" She shakes her head.  
„I'm so tired of you Tegan." I mutter and decide to finally take some action. I grab her by the shoulders and throw her down on her big bed. "Sara, what are you do-mpfhh!" I cut her off with my lips. She doesn't kiss back, so I pull way, straddling her hips and holding her hands above her head. „Oh, I see how it is. You'd better taste cock in your mouth than me." I am being mean but it's true, isn't it? „It's not like that!" Tegan says and tries to squirm free. „No, stop," I demand. „You're going to let me do this and you're going to enjoy it."  
I reach for her shirt and pull it over her head. „Sara, no!" she cries. I slap her across the cheek. „I said stop. Don't make me hit you." She lays back, scared. I shouldn't be doing this…this is wrong in so many levels.  
But maybe it will change her. Just maybe. I _have_ to try. I pull down her skirt and fishnets, staring at her exposed skin. She is so beautiful. I throw her clothes over my shoulder and lay my body on hers.  
Tegan stares into my eyes and I can sense her fear. „Don't be scared," I whisper in her ear „You have done this many times before, haven't you, you slut?" She whimpers and I kiss he neck, biting down. She breathes out loudly. I get on my knees and take off her bra. Her breasts are gorgeous. I lean back down and capture a hard nipple between my teeth.  
To my surprise, she lets out a small moan. I smirk and lick across her breasts. Her back arches and she holds onto the bed frame. „I knew you would enjoy this." I say and kiss down her stomach.  
When I reach her light pink panties, she holds her breath. I look up and see that she has her eyes closed tightly. I sit up and slide her underwear down her legs. Now that she is completely exposed in front of me, I can't stop admiring her curves.  
Her pale skin is glowing under fairy lights. Her hands are still gripping the frame. I love her appearance. Her dark brown hair, her labret piercing, her eyes, her soft skin, her thighs, her huge breasts…she is perfect.  
I can't believe I'm finally able to do this, able to make the woman I'm in love with cum. I take a hold of her ankles and try to spread her legs. Tegan's eyes open and she starts to squirm again. „No, no, Sara, please…" she begs me. I sigh. „This is for your own good. Now spread them." She sniffles and shakes her head. „I said…Spread them…Now." I demand again.  
She relaxes and I get between her thighs. I can't help but gasp when I see her pretty pink cunt for the first time. She's wet. „I was right. You_ do_ want this." I chuckle and slowly lick up her slit.  
She moans loudly and I join her, moaning at her wetness. Her taste is amazing, it's sweeter than I had expected. I slide my tongue inside of her and start stroking her velvety walls. Tegan arches up and bites her lip, trying to hold back her moans.  
I get up and let my body fully down on hers.  
She refuses to open her eyes and I reach between her legs with my right hand. I run my fingers up and down her sex, circling her clit. She gasps under me. „You like to be fucked, Tee?" She doesn't reply. „You like it when some guy rams into your sweet, tight cunt, huh?" I slide my middle finger inside of her. We both moan. She _is_ very tight. I add another finger and pump the two in and out of her for a minute.  
I get on my knees and remove my fingers from her warm core. She opens her eyes and looks disappointed but keeps her mouth shut.  
I grab both of her legs and lift her calves on my left shoulder.  
I enter her again, this time with three fingers and begin really giving it to her. Her breasts move slightly up and down and she moans my name. I stop and stare at her. „That's right, whore. I want you to scream my name so loud the neighbours can hear." I pull my incredibly wet fingers out and rub her clit. „Do you like it when I fuck you?" I ask and slide my digits back inside her. „Do you like it when I stretch your tight pussy? Do you?" She keeps quiet and I stop. „Answer me, Tegan!"  
She stares at me, panting. "Yes, Sara. Please, please fuck me like the slut I am." She licks her lips. I grin. She gave up. I start moving again and literally ram into her small body. She grips the frame and screams loudly. „Enough." I say, pull out of her and place her legs back on the bed.  
„Get on all fours." Tegan looks shocked but obeys and sticks her bum in the air. I slap her cheeks a few times and massage them.  
She sways her ass, obviously wanting me to finish the job I had started. I push four fingers into her swollen opening and start to move quickly in and out of her.  
My left hand grips her waist at first and then moves up to hold onto one of her swaying breasts, pinching her nipple. Tegan drops down onto her elbows and raises her bum even more. I move my left hand to her clit and start rubbing. „Ohhh, Saraaa!" she screams and I can feel her walls start to tighten. „I'm coming!" she moans my name loudly as she cums all over my hands.  
I look down between her legs and see that she's squirting onto the sheets. My fingers are completely soaked as I pull out of her pulsing walls. She moves to lie on her back and I lick my fingers clean, humming at her taste.  
After I'm done I lie on my stomach and pull her legs over my shoulders. I lick her clean and feel her hand gently brushing my hair out of the way. I get carried away and slide my tongue into her.  
In a matter of minutes, she's coming again, this time she squirts into my mouth. I revel in her taste and never want to leave.  
She pulls me up to her sweaty body and kisses me deeply, tasting herself. I try not to think about what has been in her mouth and focus on her soft tongue. I part our lips and get up from the now soaked bed.  
Tegan remains there, not even looking at me. I go back to my room and close the door. Suddenly I realize what I have done. I fucked my own sister. _Sister._

* * *

CHAPTER 5

Tegan's P.O.V.

I don't move. I don't even look at her. I just stay here on my back, naked, staring at the shadows the fairy lights create.  
My cunt hurts and my whole body is sore. I think back to the fight I had with our mother about two years ago.

„_Tee, sweety, we need to talk." Sonia called me from the living room. I walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch. „About?" I asked nervously.  
„Can you please explain to me what was this doing in your room?" She held up a magazine entirely about lesbian relationships and public gay figures. I froze.  
I had forgotten it in my bed, under the comforter. It was the laundry day, of course mom would find it. When I didn't reply, she sighed.  
„Look, hunny, it's okay to be curious. There is nothing wrong with that. But I want you to know that I couldn't accept a gay child.  
I don't need any blasphemy in this house." I couldn't believe it.  
„After you're done with this „discovering" phase, get back to normal or you're out of this house. It would be a real shame to have a lesbian daughter." Tears begun to stream down my face.  
„Mom, this is so unfair. What is wrong with being gay?"  
She threw the magazine down on the coffee table. „Everything! It's gross! Am I really that bad of a mother? Where did I go wrong? I tried my best to raise you girls to be normal and what do I get!?"  
I stood up and so did she, both yelling.  
„I just can't see what is wrong with this! Even if I was a lesbian you should support me not kick me out of the house!" Sonia stared at me angrily.  
„No! It's one thing I can't stand! You are so disrespectful, Tegan! Why are you doing this to me? On purpose? What have I done wrong?"  
I tried to calm her down. „It could be worse than that! I could be pregnant at 15 or doing drugs!"  
She laughed. „Oh, so you and Sara aren't smoking weed when I'm asleep?" I looked down, embarrassed. „I would rather have a teen mother living here than a lesbian. End of story. So fix this or you're out of the family."  
It was my turn to laugh. „Family? You call this a family! Who are you to say gays are against God, you broke up with the father of your children and we don't even get to see him as often as we'd like!" What I said fueled her anger even more.  
„That's enough! I don't want to see you anymore today, go to your room! Get over this teenage phase or you're not my daughter anymore!"  
She turned to the fireplace and threw the magazine into the flames._

After the fight I went upstairs to my room and called my best friend besides Sara, Tim.  
He agreed to meet me in the park. When I left my house that night I had no idea that everything could go even more wrong. My mother and I never spoke of the fight again.  
And now, here I am. In my bed, broken, exposed and cold.  
I don't know what to do. I get under the covers and turn off the lights.  
Before I fall asleep I let only one thing enter my mind, pushing other things I should focus on, like feelings towards some people, away.  
_My sister took my virginity tonight and it was amazing_.

Bobby puts his hands on my bare waist and tells me to move. I balance my naked body over his hips, staring down at his manhood between my legs. „What about the condom?" I ask, uncertain about this. He seems annoyed. „We don't need that, come on babe, start moving."  
I take his erect member in my hand and guide it to my small opening. I slowly sit down on him. It hurts at first but soon the pressure turns to pleasure. His dick fills me up completely and he moans. I begin bouncing up and down and the feeling of being full is incredible.  
My D-cup tits bounce along with me. After 10 minutes, Bobby is getting closer and so am I, he keeps moaning my name and I refuse to open my eyes and admit that it's really him under me instead of Sara.  
I imagine Sara's long fingers inside my tight cunt and her tongue on my clit and I'm coming all over Bobby's dick. Seconds later he finishes, too and spills his cum into me. We rest together for couple of minutes, his member still inside of me. I slowly sit up, his now soft dick sliding out of my wet pussy, and walk to Sara's room. I'm naked and I can feel his sperm running out of my cunt, down my thighs.  
But Sara's not there. I search the whole house for her but she's gone. I go back to my room and it has turned pitch black. I can't see anything, I feel like falling. Suddenly, music starts playing, it sounds far away. I keep falling. The music comes closer and closer and…

I open my eyes and reach for my phone that sits on the nightstand. What a stupid fucking dream. „Hello?" I pick up the phone, confused. „Tee, baby?" Bobby says. „You again!" I screech, surprised. „Er, what?" he asks. „You okay?" I clear my throat and look around the room.  
I'm alone. It's definitely morning. I am naked but I didn't have sex with Bobby in real life. I sigh, relieved. „Uh, yeah." I relax back down on my pillows. „Anyway, I wanted to ask you can you come to this party tonight? At Jamie's. I'd really like you to come." I think about it for a second.  
Since I had that dream maybe, deep down, I do want this? And it could help me forget about my attraction towards Sara and my mother would be happy. „Sure. Meet you here?" He laughs. „Alright. Oh, I also wanted to say that I had so much fun last night. Too bad you had to leave so early."  
I feel grossed out but play along. „Yeah, bummer. 'Kay, well, see you tonight!" I hang up and think about what I should do next. I want to avoid Sara as long as possible because I know our relationship is going to be awkward now. Did her actions mean she likes me, too?  
I always thought she hated me! I knew she was also gay though. She didn't have to tell me, I can totally tell. But I keep my mouth shut because if our mother finds out both of her daughters are gay…Well…We'd both be homeless and it would just destroy Sonia.  
I did this „whoring" around for her. I tried to force myself to like boys, God knows how hard I try. I want my mother to be happy.  
Unfortunately my plan didn't work and all went wrong after meeting Tim that night. I sacrificed my reputation for my mother's peace of mind because I didn't know any better. I was a fool.

* * *

CHAPTER 6

Sara's P.O.V.

„_I did not just do that! I can't believe I got away with this. And she kissed me after it was over. I could go on about how amazing it was and how perfect she is but now is not the time. Does she like me back? Oh my God Sara, shut the fuck up, that is not the point right now! YOU FUCKED YOUR OWN SISTER FOR FUCK'S SAKE! AND SHE DIDN'T WANT IT AT FIRST! Is that rape? She liked it but...Still…This is going to ruin everything! What do I do now? I was so upset about the blowjob thing I just let myself go. Should I go apologize? Should I tell her the truth? All this trouble with Tegan has put me under a lot of stress and I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm turning into a mean person who gets drunk and then rapes her own twin."_

I open my eyes, gladly accepting sunshine blinding me. It's Saturday morning. Just the time for a fun pancake-makin' with Tegan. Oh, wait…I messed everything up last night. My happy mood is gone and I panic. What do I do now? I have to leave my room at some point. I get up from the bed and slightly open my door. The hallway is empty and quiet. Her bedroom door is open and she's not there, so I use the bathroom quickly and run back to my room. I spend next two hours writing and reading, hearing Tegan walk around the house. When she finally returned to her room and closed the door loudly, I was able to go downstairs and make breakfast. Even if we weren't talking, our twin brains were still communicating. She had heard me play records in my room so she realized she wasn't the only one who needed time to be alone. She did what I had done, hid in her room and let me do what I had to do around the house. And that's how we spent the day, signaling each other with doors when it was the other's turn to use the whole house. That made me assume and hope that she wasn't mad at me.

It's around 8 pm and the doorbell rings. It's Tegan's turn to be in her room since I had heard her play the guitar quietly, so I rush to open the door. Bobby. I instantly want to hit him, beat him, rip his penis off, anything. Anything that would make him leave for good. „What?" I snap, staring at him. _What does Tegan even see in you?_ _You're nothing special. _„Uhh…Hi Sara," He says awkwardly„Is Tegan here?"I let out a long, annoyed breath. „Well, duh, she lives here." Bobby laughs. _It wasn't meant to be funny, dumbfuck._ He is about to say something but then we hear Tegan running down the stairs. She rushes past me, not looking in my direction. „Sorry you had to wait, Bobby." She says, bending down to put on her boots. Bobby pecks her on the lips and helps her put on a jacket. „Don't wait up, bye." She throws over her shoulder and pulls the door close behind her. I'm shocked, jealous and confused. What is she going to do with him now? For a second I seriously consider following them so I could prevent her from making another mistake, but I have bad temper and just the worst stalking skills. Even if saw them just kissing, I would jump out of the bushes and reveal myself. Tegan doesn't want me around.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

It was cruel to let Bobby kiss me in front of Sara. But what else can I do? I really like her and I think Sara likes me, too, but we're not healthy. We can't be together. Never. I feel a tear run down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away before Bobby sees. By the time we make it to Jamie's, the party is out of control. Wasted girls are throwing up behind the bushes and telling anyone who is willing to listen about that one guy who doesn't like them back. Bobby and I get drunk fast and join the group of peole who are dancing, I mean…rubbing against each other in the middle of the living room. He turns me around, his hands on my hips and I grind my bum to his front. He grabs my left breast, his other hand on my waist, pulling me closer to him. Bobby attacks my neck with his lips and teeth and I moan out loud. Memories of Sara taking me roughly flood my mind and I can't help but get wet. I'm drunk, disappointed in love and turned on. When Bobby goes to get more drinks, I dance and kiss with every guy coming onto me. I don't care who is touching me, I need to feel something and imagine her. Even if it only last for a few seconds, I need to feel it again. And since I probably won't get it from her ever again… The music plays loudly, the beat flowing straight through me. It's dark and hot, I'm surrounded by people. People who don't know I had let my sister fuck me last night. People who don't know I enjoyed it. People who don't know how sick I am. They will never know any of this. I see Bobby return from the corner of my eye and push some guy whose name was Ed-something, away. Bobby kisses my cheek and hands me a beer. „Wanna get out of here, baby?" he shouts in my ear over the music. I nod and we step into the cold night air.

I'm wasted and I don't care about anything anymore as I drag Bobby upstairs to my room. I have to turn my dream into real life. I close the door loud enough for Sara to hear and throw Bobby down on my bed. Once again I turn only my weak fairy lights on. I don't really want to see who I'm sleeping with. To drag even more attention, I put on the Verve album. It starts playing softly in the background as I climb on top of him and kiss him. Things get heated quickly and soon we're both covered only by our underwear. I moan as loud as I can when he rolls us over and bites down on my neck. Bobby sits up and takes off my bra. His eyes light up by the sight of my breasts and he quickly busies himself with sucking on my hard nipples. I moan again. _Save me. Please save me. Tell me you love me like I love you and save me. Please, please, please- _We're interrupted by a knock on the door.„Tegan, please, I need to talk to you." I hear Sara sob and I throw Bobby immediately off me. When I open the door, my heart breaks. Sara's eyes are red, tears streaming down her face. She looks broken. She doesn't even react to my half naked form, I guess she was expecting worse. I don't remove my eyes from hers as I tell Bobby to get out. „Tee, what's wrong?" he asks, putting his hand on my bare waist. I pull away. „No, stop, leave. It's over." He stares at Sara and then back at me again. „Why?" I sigh, telling him the first lie that comes into my head. „I have family issues right now and it's more important and I just need to think things through. Sorry. Please, just go home." He nods and leaves. Sweet little Bobby, he isn't so bad after all. I look at Sara again and she's smiling. I can't help but smile back at her. _I'm saved. I'm safe._

* * *

CHAPTER 7

Sara's P.O.V.

Right after I hear Bobby leave and the door click shut, I collide my body with Tegan's, wrapping my arms around her naked waist. She sniffles and hides her face in my neck. We embrace each other and start to slowly sway with the music. „There ain't no real truth, there ain't no real lies…" she begins to sing quietly. I grin and sing „Oh, can you just tell me: It's all right…" back at her. „It _is_ alright." Tegan mumbles. We pull away and lock our eyes, my hands on her hips. Tegan moves her hands to my chest and I can tell that she is about to cry, too. „I love you, Tee." I whisper. „I love you, too, Sasa." She says and leans in. I connect our lips and feel warmth spread through my whole body. I feel Tegan everywhere. In my heart, around me, inside me. „I'm so sorry…" She says as she pulls away. „You're the only person I've ever had sex with." I gasp. „What?" She smiles and plays with the collar of my shirt. „I was a virgin until last night. You were my first." I'm pleasantly surprised. „What about all the other guys?" She guides me to the bed and we sit down. „People just made those stories up. It was my fault." She tells me about her fight with Sonia and how she tried to get her mind off me and find comfort in boys. My heart hurts for her and I feel terrible for what I've done. Instead of supporting her, I ignored and judged her.

„Tegan, I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing that could make it up to you but I really am sorry." I cry into her neck, holding her tightly as we lay on her bed together. „It's okay, I chose that way, I was so stupid. But everything is alright now, isn't it?" I lean up to kiss her cheek. „You weren't stupid, you were under pressure." I suddenly remember one part of the story she didn't explain. „But what happened when you met up with Tim?" I ask her. Her smile disappears. „Tim was one of my best friends. I trusted him. So I asked him to meet me at the park because I didn't want to tell you about the fight with mom. I was afraid that if you weren't also gay, you might have thought I was sick or insane. When I first saw him that night, he was calm. Too calm. Like he would fall asleep any minute. I told him what had happened. And since I really trusted him…I told him that I was attracted to you. My own sister. He started acting weird and confessed he had always been in love with me. Then he got his energy back and promised to beat you up and called me a dyke. He threw me down and he had this crazy look in his eyes…" Tegan's voice cracks. I stroke her hair gently and she continues. „I knew something was wrong with him. He must have been on drugs, he was friends with crappy dealers who basically sold cheap shit, saying it's the best. So he held me down and hovered over me with his pocket knife pressed to my throat. His sadistic laugh still haunts me. He said he would tell anyone he had slept with me and that I am a whore. I was so scared, thinking he would rape me but he just got up like he had done nothing and walked home. He moved away a week later, I told you he changed schools but actually he went to rehab. Later, I noticed that boys paid more attention to me and they were nice at first. So I went along and dated them, trying to see _something_ good in them. Something I had seen in you. And that's how it all developed. I got the whore reputation, but I liked the attention. It took my mind off girls and Sonia was happy that I went out on dates with boys. God, I was so stupid, so weak." I roll onto her body and wipe away her tears. „No you weren't. You had to go through all this alone. I've been such an asshole to you, I'm so, so sorry…" I hang my head and my tears fall to her chest. „Shh, baby, don't cry," She tries to calm me and I feel butterflies because of the sweet cognomen. „I'm fine now. We're fine now. Don't blame yourself." We sob together, apologizing over and over again until Tegan starts to sit up. „I can still smell Bobby. Wanna take a shower?" I nod and we remove her bed sheets, throwing them into the laundry basket. I can't wait to wash her negative memories and our past down the drain.

Tegan slides her panties off her smooth legs and looks at me. Once again she's completely naked in front of me. „Well?" She asks. „Well what?" I stare at her hips. „Are you going to shower with your clothes on?" She laughs and I look at myself. _Fuck._ „Uh, Tee, I'm not sure, I'm afraid…you'd think I'm ugly…" She moves closer to me. „How can you even think that!? Look at you, you're perfect. I'd never think you're ugly! You're beautiful, no matter what." She cups my jaw and makes her adorable puppy dog face. „Don't blame me when your eyes burn." I say and start to pull off my shirt. Tegan helps me remove my bra and jeans. „I don't know…" I whisper and look at my boxers. „Come on, don't be so self-conscious." She gets on her knees and slowly pulls my underwear down. She smiles at me and kisses my outer lips. I gasp and she giggles. „Absolutely gorgeous." We step into the shower and I can't tear my eyes away from her, water running down her toned body. We wash each other gently, trying to make up for the lost years.

Tegan guides me down on soft, fresh sheets. Our still wet, naked bodies slide against eachother as we keep kissing and rolling around, fighting for dominance. She pins me down and whispers „I want to be _your_ first, Sara." in my ear. She kisses my neck, biting hard enough to leave marks.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

I am going to do this. I am finally going to do this. I'm going to make love to Sara. I don't want to just fuck her, I want to show her how much I care about her. She arches her back and moans as I lick around her nipples. I kiss down her pale stomach and deeply breathe in her scent. I don't want to move too fast, so I lift up her right leg and kiss from her ankle up to the inside of her thigh. I see my price but decide to hold on a bit longer, to tease both of us, and give her left leg the same treatment. „Tegan, please…" She begs and spreads her legs. I smile and hook my arms around her thighs, lifting her closer to my mouth. I lick up and down her slit, tasting her delicious juices. She moans and puts her right leg over my shoulder. I hold onto it and nudge her left leg further with my free hand to be able to push my tongue deep inside her. I massage her soft walls and moan at her taste. I circle her clit and nibble on it. She closes her eyes and throws her head back on the pillows. „I need…all…of you." She moans and I enter her wet, tight core with one finger at first. I gently add another digit and pump the two in and out rapidly. Her moans and gasps grow louder as she gets closer to the edge. I move as fast as I can and soon she's coming all over my fingers. After her walls stop tightening, I pull out of her and lick her clean, savoring every drop. I rest on top of her panting form and trace her lips with my damp fingers. „Open up." I whisper and she complies, licking her own juices off my digits. I take my fingers out and replace them with my tongue. We kiss and moan at her taste. „Thank you, Tee." I smile and pull the covers over us. „Sasa?" I ask after turning off my weak lights. „Hmm?" I kiss her nose and put one of my warm legs between her cold ones. „Will you be my girlfriend?" She wraps her arms around me and asks me the same thing. „I would love to be your girlfriend." I admit and she smiles. „Good, because all I ever wanted was to be _your_ girlfriend." Sara confesses. I gently kiss her goodnight and fall asleep on her chest, knowing everything is alright.

_There ain't no space and time, to keep our love alive. We have existence and it's all we share._

* * *

CHAPTER 8

Sara's P.O.V.

I hear someone mumbling next to me and feel something soft graze my skin. „Sasa?" I open my eyes, staring directly into Tegan's. It's Sunday morning and my naked twin sister is straddling my equally naked waist in her bed. After my confusion fades, I remember last night. I remember Bobby leaving, taking a shower with Tegan, kissing her….I remember her tongue inside me. Tegan's smiling and I can't help but chuckle and wrap my arms around her waist. „Goodmorning, baby." She says, kissing my chest. „Goodmorning, girlfriend." I say back and roll us over. She strokes my cheeks and jawline, our bare chests pressed against each other tightly. Looking at her now, under the morning light, I know that _this_ is what I want. „I want to wake up next to you every day," I tell her. „I want to walk home from school with you, hand in hand, like when we were kids. I want to see you smile like that all the time and make love to you. All I want is you to be happy and be one of the things that causes your happiness." A tear rolls down her cheek and I kiss it away quickly. „That's exactly what I want, too," She says „But are you sure you can to go through all this hiding?" I nod. „It's all worth it, Tee. Can you?" She sits up and hugs me. „Of course. I'd do anything for you." Everything is perfect, I finally have what I had desired for so long.

„_Today, Sonia came home and I felt a litte upset now that I know what she had told Tegan two years ago. I decided to keep all of this hidden more carefully, not wanting her to find out. So when we watched TV together, I sat far away from Tegan, making sure that our mother sits between us. I yearned to touch Tegan, to hold her and I could tell she was dealing with the same problem. Whenever I glanced in her direction, she shyly smiled back at me or stared at the screen, biting her lip, trying to concentrate. Since Tegan has a week off from school because of the fight, she is still downstairs watching a scary movie. Sonia is sleeping, assuming I'm doing the same because I have school tomorrow. Maybe I should really take a page from her book but before that I want to kiss Tegan goodnight."_

I slowly sneak downstairs, not daring to turn on any lights. Tegan is sitting on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. The only light in the room is coming from commercials on the screen. „Tee?" I whisper and she jumps slightly, turning her head around. „Sara! You scared me!" She whispers back. I sit on her lap and rest my hands on her shoulders. She holds onto my hips and I point my index finger to my lips. She takes the hint and dives in. I revel in the taste of her cherry chapstick and I fall down on the couch, her hips between my legs. She starts thrusting and I try hard to hold back my moans. „Tomorrow," I gasp „After school." She sits up and grins. „Aw, you poor thing have to go." I attack her lips once more. „You better make it up to me when I get back." She kisses my cheek. „Oh, I will." I peck her lips for the last time and go upstairs to sleep.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

It's weird being home alone during the day. But since it's relaxing, I'm glad I punched that jerk and got caught. Sara is supposed to get back from school around half past two. Sonia was very upset last night when she heard about the fight, I didn't want to tell her the whole story so she was still confused about my motives. Before the time of Sara's arrival, I run around the house, impatient. I hear the front door being opened. „Tegan, I'm home!" Sara announces, hanging her coat. I grab her face in my hands and kiss her. She pulls away, laughing. „Hi, baby. How was school?" I ask her, holding her bag while she takes off her boots. „Boring…But people were asking me about you. You're the new hero for girls, everybody hates Jack and his stupid friends." We laugh and head upstairs. I take her bag to her bedroom and she walks to the bathroom to wash hands. I feel tiny hands wrap around my waist as I stare out of her bedroom window. Sara rests her chin on my shoulder and we look at the foggy woods. It's getting colder every day. „What did you do today?" She asks me and places kisses on my neck. I close my eyes and relax. „Oh, nothing really…Waited for you," I turn around and put my hands on her hips „I haven't forgotten what I promised you last night." She bites her lip and leans in to kiss me. We quickly remove our clothes and fall down on her bed. I plant kisses all over her perfect body, moving south. I spread her legs and start drooling; now that her body is fully illuminated by the daylight coming through the window, I can see _all_ of her clearly. She is so beautiful and all mine. I bend down and gently lick her sweet pussy, circling her clit. Sara arches her back and moans loudly. „Tee, come up here." She gasps. I slide up and rest my body on hers. Our breasts are pushed together and the feeling is incredible. I slide a finger into her slowly, soon adding another. She reaches between my legs and rubs my sex. „Sar, please…" I moan, biting her neck. „What do you need?" She asks, circling my sensitive button. „I need to feel you…Inside of me. Please." I manage to say. She stops teasing me and she pushes two of her long digits into me. We both start thrusting faster and faster and soon we're unable to contain our moans. Sara and I cum at the same time, muffling our screams into each other's necks.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

After we catch our breath and calm down, we get up and start looking for our clothes. Tegan bends down, offering me a breathtaking view of her perfect bum, and slides on her pink panties. I giggle at her girly choice and pull up my black boxers. I sit down on the bed and Tegan walks past me to get her shirt from the ground. I grab a hold of her hips and pull her closer to me. „What are you doing?" She laughs and I rest my cheek on her lower back, my hands on her stomach. „I'm just glad you're finally here, with me." She places her hands on mine and sighs. „I'm glad, too. I was so afraid you'd push me away. I wish I could tell you how in love with you I am, but there are no words to describe it." That is officially the cheesiest thing Tegan has ever said and a big smile spreads across my face. I kiss the small of her back and her dimples, loving the intimacy between us. „Mm, stop, baby, you're making me wet again." She moans. „Is that bad?" I ask and pull her down to sit on my lap. I kiss her neck and nibble on her earlobe. „Sar…ahh," She gasps „Mom will be home soon…besides, I wrote you a song." I am pleasantly surprised. „Yeah? Let's hear it." Tegan gets up and I slap her bum. She returns to the room with her guitar, wearing a shirt to my disappointment. „I wrote it during that day when we ignored each other. After you, you know, fucked me." She sits down on the bed and winks.

„Threw out believable yesterday.

I delayed a stutter that was slowly,

Calming me, coaxing me.

You're my daydream.

Does it make you homesick for me?

You're my daydream.

Does it make you homesick for me?

I'm still missing you.

I'm still missing you.

Well I guess that I have

I guess that I have never really had you.

Threw out believable yesterday.

I delayed a stutter that was slowly,

Calming me, coaxing me

You're my daydream.

Does make you homesick for me?

You're my daydream.

Does it make you homesick for me?

And I'm still missing you, missing you, missing you

Well I'm missing you, missing you, missing you

Well I'm missing you, do you miss me now?

Well I'm missing you, do you miss me now?

I rise up, wise up, say it loud.

Soul, I will not lie to you.

Rise up, wise up, say it loud.

Soul, I will not lie to you.

I'm all alone.

I'm still missing you, missing you, missing you.

Yeah I'm missing you, missing you.

Well I'm missing you, do you miss me now?

And I'm still missing you, missing you, missing you.

Yeah I'm missing you, missing you.

Well I'm missing you, do you miss me now?

Rise up, wise up, say it loud

Soul, I will not lie to you

Rise up, wise up, say it loud

Soul, I will not lie to you

I will not, cause I am all alone.

I will not."

I'm stunned. „That…Was amazing, Tee." She smiles. „Thank you. I really did miss you. I was so confused." She places the guitar down next to my bed. „Why didn't you tell me how you felt before you took me?" I look down and feel embarrassed. „I'm so sorry. I know that it was wrong and there is nothing that could justify it. I was drunk and upset about the Bobby thing and I was afraid of telling you about my feelings. I just let lust and anger take over. I'm sorry I hurt you." She leans down on the pillows and takes my hands in hers. „Sasa, it's okay. You didn't hurt me. I could've stopped you, but I didn't." She pulls me down next to her and wraps her arms around me. I hide my face in her neck and kiss her jawline softly. We cuddle and talk until we hear the front door being unlocked. Tegan jumps up and grabs her guitar. She pecks me on the lips and runs to her room. I put my clothes back on and go downstairs to greet Sonia.

* * *

CHAPTER 9

Tegan's P.O.V.

It's Christmas tomorrow, my favorite day of the year.  
Unfortunately I was torn form my peaceful slumber by screaming and sobbing. I drag my body out of the bed where Sara and I have made love for countless times during the past weeks and head downstairs, towards the disturbing noise.  
When I hear Sonia scream the words „How could you do this to me!?" I freeze. I feel hot and want to vomit. „Tegan!" She calls me. „Get down here! Right now!" I walk down to the living room on shaking legs. Sara is sitting on the couch quietly while Sonia is standing across her, on the other side of the coffee table, hands on her hips. I've never seen her so mad.  
„Sit down." She snaps at my questioning look and I obey. I try to look at Sara's face to see if she's okay but Sonia stops me with a loud „Don't even dare to look at her!" I tilt my head towards my mother. „What?" She points to the coffee table.  
Two identical books are staring back at me. Laughing at my own stupidity. All the air in my lungs is gone. Not only did she find my diary, she also found Sara's. „I don't know what to do with you two anymore. You've stepped over every possible line and I've had enough." Sonia's voice is now quiet but still holds a mad tone.  
„Why me? Where did I go wrong? I did everything for you! You have no idea how hard I worked to feed two babies and now you think it's okay to do this to your poor mother?!" Tears stream down my face.  
She knows. Everything is over. Our lives are over. „There are so many other girls in the world. If you really were lesbians, you would have dated other girls. Not only is this immoral, it's also a lie. You're not in love and you're definitely not lesbians. I don't know where do you get your sick teenage ideas from but this has to end. Were you just bored and decided to have this disgusting little game? I'm done with you. You're not my children anymore."  
I look up, it's hard to see with all the water in my eyes but I know for sure that Sonia is serious.  
„Get out of my house."

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

The park is cold but not dark, despite of the night. The snow with Christmas lights from all over the town create a nice illuminated environment around us. Our heavy bags are on the bench, waiting to be driven across Canada.  
„I guess this is goodbye." Tegan sobs. I look at her and feel my own tears forming. She looks so cute with her puffy parka and fuzzy mittens. „Yes." I whisper. She places her hands on my waist and kisses my cold nose lovingly.  
„You'll love Montreal." She says and I pull her closer. „I hope so." We hold each other and cry silently. When the car arrives, everything will be over. It's the Christmas Eve. We were supposed to sit next to the tree, joke and be happy.  
Sonia was not sad to see us leave. We were not sad to leave. If that meant getting away from her hate, we were okay with it. We are ashamed. We let down our own mother who had cared for us but we still wonder…Had she really? Her way of caring is not only harsh, but also from only one, old perspective.  
We are not her. We will never be her. We are Tegan and Sara. We are in love. It's real. It's strong. It's us against the world. And if we could float away, fly up to the surface and just start again, we would. We would be careful. We would do it right. I would save her sooner and she would be free from bad memories. „I love you, Sara, always have. Always will. No matter what happens." I smile between my sobs. „I love you, too, Tee. Forever."  
The car pulls up near the park and we pull away. We grab out bags and walk towards it. Our father steps out. „Hey, girls!" We run to hug him. „Don't worry about anything, I love you two no matter what." He laughs and puts our bags and guitar cases to the trunk. We smile and get in the car. As our father starts the engine, Sara and I tear up again.  
„It was nice while it lasted…." Tegan begins dramatically .  
„…Yes. This is the most painful goodbye." I add.  
„So, goodbye, park." Tegan giggles. „Yeah, bye, dear park." I take her hand in mine and our father chuckles at our dramatic act as he drives towards Montreal so we can start a new life together in peace.  
We leave the place where we grew up, where we probably fell in love before realizing it. But it's alright because maybe one day this place will be destroyed, but our love, this bond between us, will remain no matter what, we can carry it around with us.


End file.
